


Roachbreak

by SkipBack



Series: Scenarios Timeline [6]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, and keef tries to do stuff and things, dib's trying to help, idk i'm kinda burnt out so idk what other tags to put, other things, so uh this exists now, zib's not having a good time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:00:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26740285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkipBack/pseuds/SkipBack
Summary: It was no secret that when Zib fell, he fellhard.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Keef/Zib | Zim Number1, ZaDB, the b stands for brothers
Series: Scenarios Timeline [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790731
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	Roachbreak

**Author's Note:**

> **!~ NOTES BEFORE YOU GET INTO THE STORY ~!**
> 
> eh had an old scenario i needed to post so. it's here now. oh and i've been seeing the name "dibromide" around so. yeah. as i say at the end of these notes...
> 
> **!~ AND THAT'S ALL YOU NEEDED TO KNOW. ENJOY THE STORY :D ~!**

A lot of things had been surprising on Dib's end.

He hadn't really expect to act so... buddy-buddy with his alternate, especially that fast. Okay, sure. Zib had been in a really sorry state when Dib had suckered himself into going back to the "Zimvoid" six months after the first time, but to suddenly switch from that to some form of friendship... it was weird. Zib had one helluva time trying to readjust to a "normal life" (as normal as it can be in no-name city); Professor Membrane had thought the very experimental portal had cloned his son when he returned with his alternate in tow, so it was one way of avoiding the truth from getting out.

Didn't mean it made his second chance at a normal life easier on him.

Nearly a month later, Keef had started hanging around Zib. Dib, Gaz and even _Zim_ had made bets on whether or not the other Dib would kill the redheaded boy, or if he would do something horrible to him instead. Zib had made it rather clear from the start he didn't exactly want Keef around, but Keef! Never got the memo! Zib had eventually cracked and ended up deciding to make the ginger a sidekick (slash bestest friend, in Keef's opinion). But he'd had a short list of things Keef couldn't do if he wanted to keep his friendship.

Dib liked to think that this was what Zib had told him: "Don't make my room pink, don't distract me, don't stalk me or my family, or randomly throw parties because you thought it would make me feel better. If you do, that's it. We're finished. No second chances."

Dib had been surprised when that actually worked. Turns out you just had to set boundaries with Keef.

Looking back, he supposed the signs his alternate's tone with the ginger was steadily changing over the years should have been obvious. Dib supposed he'd been way too focused on more important things related to world-saving to notice; Zib had gone from irritated, to mildly irritated, to tolerant, to somewhat fond... to awkward. And Dib meant really, REALLY, _REALLY_ awkward. Zib had always been known to be the more confident one of the both of them, but his confidence had seemed to have went "oh shit" and run away whenever Keef walked in the room, or whenever the redheaded boy was merely mentioned.

If he'd known at the time, Dib was pretty sure he would have lorded Zib's crush on Keef over his head. It probably would have destroyed their friendship, but still.

At the time, he'd never really thought anything of it. Seriously. He hadn't had any thoughts about it. Of course, he'd really never paid attention to how the two responded to each other, more concerned with preventing an alien menace from taking over the world to really see the signs, but they were there. Then at some point in high school right under Dib's nose... the two started dating, and Dib had been so confused over what was going on that he almost _stopped_.

He meant, what are you supposed to say when an alternate version of _yourself_ starts dating the friendly stalker kid? Okay, so Keef had calmed down a little (less overbearing, actual friend material) in high school, but still. There was no way Dib could have been ready or at least prepared for what to do when it turns out a version of himself was dating _Keef_ of all people.

Dib had gotten over his initial confusion by this point. Over time, he'd just kind of accepted them being together. It actually turned out they were alright with each other, which was something he was pretty sure no one was expecting; they'd picked things up from each other, like how Keef had suddenly become more confident and overly sarcastic. But they also happened to bring out things and sides from each other that no one was really expecting. A lot of things had also changed about them physically; Keef's hair was now long enough to wear in a short ponytail, and Zib... was heavy, to put it bluntly.

Memorable moments were hardly scarce with these two around; Dib could list off the time Zib had been dropping the cheesiest pick up lines in existence for the express purpose of making people groan, to which Keef had seemed to have been thoroughly unimpressed with. Out of nowhere, when it seemed as though Zib had _finally_ run out of pick up lines to torture everyone with, the small redheaded man said: "Are you from Saint Louis? Well, I can still teach you how to archer back." It was only memorable because Zib had been redfaced for the entire rest of the day, and it had been the hardest anyone had _ever_ heard Gaz laugh.

Now Zib had seemingly disappeared, and Keef was worried sick over what happened to him. He apparently wasn't responding to any calls or texts from his boyfriend, completely dead silent. Keef had only brought up his disappearance recently, since it had been weeks since he first stopped responding and he had expected him to by now. Yet... still nothing. Dib had yet to try to see if his alternate would respond to anything he sent, or if he would pick up the phone if he called.

He decided it would be best if he sent something short and simple, without letting him know Keef was worried. He knew for a fact that would make Zib feel guilty.

( hello? are you alright? havent heard from you in weeks... you good there? ) >

Dib wasn't expecting a response, if he had to be honest. He hadn't thought Zib would, which was the main reason why he forgot about it for a solid ten minutes before his phone buzzed. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he frowned down at the text; only three words (one of them mispelled), but it told him what he needed to know — Zib was still there.

< ( leabe me alone )

"Leave me alone," Dib echoed quietly to himself, his brows furrowed. He didn't exactly have a reason to. And with Keef constantly three seconds away from putting up MISSING posters, he wasn't going to. Not without a valid reason and something to tell Keef so he'd stop freaking out the fuck out, anyway.

( would love to, but its like you disappeared! mutual friends worried sick, cant tell them youre alright. ) >

( are you? ) >

The response was quicker this time, but with only three words again.

< ( just go away )

Dib sent a few more texts, but it looked like Zib was out of three-word responses. That, or he was refusing to respond now. Or worse case scenarios that would make Keef have a heartattack on the spot.

_Just go away. Leave me alone._

Zib had said both whilst trying to get Dib to leave the Zimvoid the last time he'd ever stepped foot there, part of the main reason why this felt so damn familiar. Zib had been absolutely, completely _miserable._ If he remembered correctly, his alternate had actually started attacking with the hopes of getting him to leave. Dib of course hadn't wanted to, and... well. He'd somehow managed to convince Zib to leave the Zimvoid. Everything had seemed to have been fine over the years. He'd never fallen back into that level of misery since then.

Of course....

It seemed as though things had changed lately. Several weeks ago, before his alternate's disappearance, all he knew was that Zib had been planning something big, either for or surrounding Keef. No one really knew what it had been, since he'd say "You'll see!" when asked. All Dib remembered was that it had been like his alternate had eaten a kangaroo; he'd been over the moon with excitement, and he wouldn't stop smiling. Not for a second. That was probably the best mood anyone had ever seen Zib in.

He'd been a panicky mess the night it was happening, and he'd asked Dib of all people for reassurance (and encouragement).

After that... nothing.

It was no secret that when Zib fell, he fell _hard_. Knowing him, that probably meant that big plan of his tanked pretty badly.

Looking back, Dib realized Keef had been... a little off after that night. People who knew the redhead knew that he was a pure optimist with a motormouth and an inability to hold a grudge for long periods of time. He'd been quiet and distracted, especially silent whenever Zib was brought up. Dib remembered seeing Keef staring off once at the mention of his boyfriend, absently drumming his fingers against the table. He had completely phased into his own little world.

Dib had known then that was weird, but it hadn't really raised any alarm bells.

Boy, how the bells rang now.

He couldn't remember the last time they'd been separated. If you found one, you were sure to find the other trailing behind. Except now, from the looks of things. Something must of happened that night to change everything. Zib was miserable, Keef was quiet... there was only one logical explanation, though Dib couldn't bring himself to consider it.

The only logical explanation was that they'd broken up. But there was no way. Unless something went horribly wrong, and Keef had pinned the blame on Zib and decided to call it quits... but that was impossible. Keef hardly ever blamed anything on Zib. What _happened_ that night?

He needed to get to the bottom of this.

He needed to know what was going on.

He needed to fix this.

Keef... didn't offer a lot of explanation when Dib asked him what happened the night Zib's plan was taking place. He said it was something he'd have to ask Zib about. Dib highly doubted he'd want to talk about a plan that backfired on him, especially after telling him to go away. Well... probably not like this, anyway.

Talking to Zib face-to-face was probably the only way to get a real answer.

But it was currently too late to do anything. Showing up uninvited when it was eleven at night... overall, that just wasn't a very good time to ask. Tomorrow... tomorrow was a better time to ask.

He'd ask alright. Then he'd see if he could find a way to fix things.

\-------------

Managing to steel his nerves, Dib rapped his knuckles against the door and waited.

Dib stuffed his hands into his pockets, awkwardly rocking back and forth on his heels. Of course, it still felt a little weird visiting his alternate even though they were (mostly) on good terms now. It... it kind of reminded him of his last visit to the Zimvoid. He'd been nervous about seeing Zib again. And he felt... a little less nervous than he had been then.

Of course, as to be expected, Zib didn't answer the door. If it weren't for the dark-colored vehicle that sat in the laneway, Dib would have thought he wasn't home. Unless he took a walk somewhere, he hadn't gone anywhere. At the lack of a response, Dib tried knocking on the door again, just in case Zib would yell "go away!" or give him any other real sign he was home. Proof he was there, and Dib wasn't wasting his time.

Nothing.

Dib shakily sighed, half expecting the door to be locked; it was surprisingly unlocked, something he knew he'd probably have to chastise his alternate for... at a later point in time. Again, if Zib were feeling miserable, it was best not to blame or berate him. He had enough to deal with. Probably. Well, Dib knew he tended to beat himself up when he was feeling down, and Zib was still technically the same as he... _sooo_....

The house was dark when Dib pushed his way inside. A ball of anxiety settled in his stomach as he carefully crept through the hall to the living room, feeling as though the walls were pressing in on him. It didn't help he was so damn _tall._ He was nearly seven feet in height; he towered over his own father for fuck's sake! He felt too... tall and awkward here, even though the house was technically perfect for someone of his height.

This was a bad idea. Why had he even thought to come here? Zib had asked him to leave him alone. _This_ was the actual opposite of leaving him alone.

Speaking of....

It took him a while to realize Zib was in the living room, dimly lit by the light managing to sneak in through the fabric of the curtains. Dib jolted, his heart jumping up into his throat before he realized that his alternate was unconscious. He honestly looked liked he'd toppled off the couch onto the floor in his sleep, his body partially covered by a blanket. He was laying on his stomach, his cheek pressed into the floor. His mouth was hanging wide open, his Irken tongue curled out in an unnatural way in a pool of drool. He'd traded his trenchcoat out for a housecoat at some point.

(A gift Dib had given him once after having a mini panic attack over what the hell he was supposed to get for basically _himself_. They'd had a laugh over the size of the coat, but Dib had always thought it was a gift Zib would put in the closet and forget about. He'd never expected him to actually _wear_ it.)

This was probably the perfect time to back out now. Zib didn't even have to know he'd been here. He could just... turn around... and walk out the door. Let Keef know Zib was alive. Simple as that.

But since when did Dibromide Membrane ever back down?

Trying to calm his panicking nerves, Dib crouched down and reached out to gently shake his alternate's shoulder. A loud snort announced Zib had returned to consciousness, his tongue curling in as he closed his mouth. It took him a while to actually notice Dib, though he didn't react to his presence the way he was expecting: violently.

"Dib...?" the other croaked. Dib didn't know how bad Zib's mental health had gotten, but he sounded _terrible_.

Zib tried to push himself up but only succeeded in flopping over onto his side with a low groan; Dib idly wondered how long he'd been laying there. "Dib...." Zib said again. He somehow sounded worse than he had a second ago. Subtle difference in his voice, but noticable if you were listening for it.

"Hey," Dib said, resting a hand on the other's arm, vaguely remembering hugging his alternate in the Zimvoid and hugging him the time he had found out Zib was terrified of thunder. It wasn't a hug, but it was contact. Probably the first from another human (using that term loosely) being in weeks.

"Dib," Zib said for the third time. "What... what're you... d-doing...." He sounded like he was struggling to speak.

"Thought I'd come to visit," said Dib, "to see how you're doing."

The other avoided his gaze, though he didn't move to make Dib stop touching him. Eventually, with his voice hoarse and weak: "Why? I... th-thought I told you to... l-leave... to leave me alone."

Dib pursed his lips. "You did. But I couldn't exactly do that. People are _worried_ , Zib. No one has seen you in weeks!"

Zib curiously looked up at Dib, a soft yellowish glow from his eyes. "Are _you?_ "

"Of course," Dib told him. And he really was; the other's shirt was covered in snack stains, dark bags seated under his eyes. His hair was unkempt (it usually was, but it was worse), and his face covered in stubble. He looked deflated, like the life had been sucked out of him. "I mean, you stopped responding. I didn't know wh — I didn't know if you were alright!"

Zib forced himself to sit upright, staring down at the ground, his housecoat slipping off one of his shoulders. A clawed hand stretched out, pointing to the coffee table behind Dib, who turned to see his alternate's phone sitting upon it. The one that Keef decided to get him when his old one broke. This one was broken as well, but it looked like Zib had thrown it at the wall as hard as he could. With that Irken super strength, his phone wouldn't have stood a chance.

"...is," Dib started awkwardly. "Is that... that's why you stopped replying." It wasn't a question, but Zib gave a slight nod nevertheless.

That explained a lot. But it must have been after or when Dib had been texting him last night. Perhaps he'd grown frustrated with the fact Dib wouldn't stop texting him after he told him to leave him alone, and then he—

Zib suddenly scoffed. "Says the... guy who disappeared for an entire y-year," he said. "Then... returns with a... _k-kid._ Worried... about me." A dry, empty laugh. "I haven't been gone... for as long as you h-have. Who could possibly be so worried about me that _you_... of all p-people has to break into my house... t-to check up on me?"

"First of all, that was a long time ago, and people should have let that go by now," Dib said. "Second of all, that was a _very_ delayed response. Third of all, the door was unlocked... _again._ And fourth..." He trailed off. Could he really say who? Without making Zib feel worse? He changed it to: "And fourth of all, does it matter who? No one knows wha — Zib, you're practically like my twin brother. Of course _I_ would be worried."

His alternate's gaze fell to the floor again. "This is about what happened that night, isn't it?" he asked. "Y-you... you want to know what... happened."

Dib sighed. "It would be preferable to know, yes," he said. He technically wasn't lying.

Zib kept his eyes glued to the floor, silent for a long minute. He occasionally opened his mouth to make a small sound, as though trying to force himself to speak. In the end, he just took a small box out of his pocket, carefully cradling it in his clawed hands as though it would instantly shatter if he held it wrong.

Dib felt his heart jump as a realization came to him just seconds before Zib reached inside and pulled out a ring. "You were going to—"

"I don't know what went wrong." Zib's voice was quiet. Rough. "I thought everything was _fine_. Everything was going... s-so _well._ But then..." He paled, his hands starting to shake, the glow in his eyes seeming to dim. "I chased him away. The best thing in my entire life, and I chased him away."

He put the ring back in the box, stuffing it back in his pocket. "What did I _do?_ " he asked no one in particular. "Did I do something wrong? Is it... is it just _me?_ "

Dib moved to sit awkwardly beside Zib. Comforting people still wasn't something he was good at, after all these years. He was especially clueless as what to do when he had to comfort those with a broken heart.

Comforting _Zib_ when he had a broken heart was another story entirely.

His alternate pressed his hands against the sides of his head, his eyes squeezed shut. Something Dib remembered him doing a lot growing up. He didn't know what it exactly meant, but all he knew was that whenever Zib's mental state began to rapidly darken, he'd press his hands against the sides of his head. There was one point where his mental health had gotten so bad that he'd nearly ripped the PAK off the back of his head in an attempt to....

Keef had promised to never leave his side for anything after that, and had convinced him to get a therapist. No one had even seen Zib's hands near the sides of his head unless it was to scratch an itch.

Which raised the question: what was happening on Keef's end? Why had he broken his promise?

Zib made a small mewling sound as Dib put an arm around his shoulders, a familiar look of anguish on his face. Tears streaked down his face. His hands moved from his head to his chest, pressed over the spot above his heart as though hoping to ease whatever pain sat there.

It didn't seem to work.

All Dib could really do was allow Zib to let it all out. Small sniffles and pained mewling turned into great, heaving sobs accompanied by asking why he was such a monster in Irken, then rinse and repeat.

Could... _could_ he really fix this? Zib's heart would mend, but he was the kind of person to hurt himself without knowing how to stop.

Perhaps....

Heavily sighing, Dib pulled out his phone. Zib had gone back to sniffling, tears soaking into Dib's coat, his arms limply at his sides. He looked... distant. Empty. All he did was twitch when Dib began texting, but had no response for when his phone buzzed with replies.

( theres... a situation. could you come over here? ) >

< ( Wait, why? What's going on? Is he okay? )

( hes alive. but hes... not doing too well. ) >

< ( How bad are we talking? )

< ( wait nevermind im coming )

"Who..." Zib trailed off, like he realized he didn't care.

"Keef's outside, I just told him to come over," Dib told him. At that, a nervous energy seemed to fill Zib's entire being, his eyes practically bulging out of his head.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" He looked down at himself, slapping a hand against his stomach, and his anxiety seemed to fly right through the roof. "DIB! _WHAT THE FUCK!_ He can't—"

At that moment, Zib had tried to stand up, immediately tripping over the blanket on the floor and toppling onto his face. He pulled himself up onto the couch and wrapped himself up in the blanket so that half of his face was poking out. "Keef can't see me like this," he said, his voice lowered to a whisper.

Dib stood up, brushing himself off. "He's seen you worse than this."

Zib pulled the blanket up to his eyes. "Not like this."

"Hello?"

Ah. There he was.

Keef poked around the corner seconds later. The small man nervously tugged his jacket around himself, first only noticing Dib, who gave him an awkward smile. Keef's green eyes slowly moved from Dib's face to Zib tucked up on the couch with a blend of fear, anxiety, pain and longing in his eyes.

The redhead's face dropped, worry replacing his previous nervous energy. He moved over to the couch, reaching out for Zib. In turn, Zib's eyes flashed as he pulled back, the tears starting back up.

Keef _completely_ fell a part when he saw that.

The next ten minutes were spent with Keef wrapping his arms around Zib's neck, apologizing for hurting him repeatedly, Zib babbling incoherently in Irken.

After a long while, both of them began to quiet down. Zib avoided eye contact, tears still in the corners of his eyes. Keef on the other hand sat perched on the arm of the couch, leaning over in hopes of getting the other to look at him.

"Hey," he said, his voice wavering.

No response.

"Doing... doing alright?"

Nothing.

Keef sighed, reaching out to place a hand on Zib's shoulder, pulling it back to his chest as though he'd been burned when a pained whine was heard. A few heartbeats passed before he lowered his hand to his lap again, staring down at the floor with an uncharacteristically guilty expression.

"Is this... is this about the fact I didn't say yes?" Keef eventually asked. "And... and the fact I left you alone at the resturant... without saying goodbye?"

Fresh tears poured down Zib's cheeks, but he still refused to say a word.

"That wasn't the perfect moment to propose. Perfect setting, yes. Time... not so much. Maybe if you'd waited..."

Zib pulled his head under the blanket, shaking and emitting small heartbroken mewls.

"I know, I'm sorry! I was just surprised."

Nothing.

"Look... if I was the same person I was when I was younger, I'm pretty sure I would have jumped the gun and proposed right then and there too. You're acting like the fact I didn't immediately say yes is the worst thing to ever happen to you."

Another long pause.

"Do you..." Keef started awkwardly. "Do you remember the night you told me you loved me? Back in high school? With the... ten thousand neonflies?"

Zib's face poked back out, finally meeting Keef's eyes.

"Do you remember what I told you that day?"

Silence.

"I told you that it wasn't good for you to let everything get you down. And I'll say it again, it's not. Look, all I said was that I needed some time to think. I didn't say yes, but I didn't say no either."

"You...." Zib trailed off.

Keef gave him an expression that could only be described as _bitch, please_. One of the things he'd picked up on was Dib and Zib's ability to know what each other were about to say.

"If you think one imperfect proposal is going to make me hate you until the end of time, Zib... then you better stand up, because I'm going to kick you in the shin right now for thinking that."

Zib didn't move to stand up. He pulled the blanket over his head again instead.

Keef sighed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not being serious, Zib. I'm not going to kick you."

Nothing.

"I don't hate you. You know that. I just wasn't sure what to think. I guess... y'know, I guess it was coming at some point, but I didn't..." A pause. "Well, I guess no one can really ever expect that, but come on. You can't go..." Keef straightened his back out, holding his arms out as though imagining he had a large gut was the only way he could do an impression of Zib. " _Oh, I guess now that we've been here for ten minutes, I guess I can BAM RING MARRY ME NOW._ "

On any other day, Zib probably would have been offended by the impression, and outraged by the fact it seemed like the redhead was overestimating the size of his stomach. Which Keef was probably counting on. Instead....

"You didn't come back," Zib said. "I waited, but you didn't... you d-didn't... you _left._ I thought you were coming back."

Keef's arms dropped to his sides. "How long did you wait?" he asked, his voice laced with guilt.

"Until..." A choked sob. "Until it closed. But you weren't... h-home... and you didn't... y-you didn't...." Again, his head poked out from under the blanket, tears streaking down his face. " _You left me alone._ You said you wouldn't leave me alone...."

Keef winced before his gaze fell to the floor. "Not again," he eventually decided. "Never again. Not twice. Not thrice. Not even rice. Wait."

A breathless laugh, the corners of his mouth turning up before they fell down again. "So... will you... y'know."

Keef rolled his eyes again before turning and lifting Zib's head up in his hands. "Yes. I will marry you... you gorgeous asshole."

"So rude," Zib said. He sounded significantly better, though tired. "Missed you."

The ginger pressed a kiss to the center of his face. Zib seemed to melt. "Missed you too, bud."

This... this was probably a good time to go, since the two didn't seem to remember Dib was even here. He could probably get away without saying goodbye. Plus, he was pretty sure these two wanted to... _catch up_ , so he'd just... leave them to it.

Dib slunk out the front door, walking back to his car. Since he probably didn't have to drive Keef back to his place, he technically didn't have to stay any longer than he had to. But... y'know, he wanted some time to think. Zib and Keef were getting married. He wasn't all that sure this was just a vivid fever dream. But it brought back memories of his own.

Dib leaned back against the car with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Years ago... he had considered marrying someone. They'd disappeared together in order to stage a private wedding, so no one would find them. But it... it had felt nice, this weird secrecy. Turns out the fame and recognition he'd craved wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. They'd moved there. They had decided to have a family. He was planning on letting the rest of his family know what was going on after.

Then he had lost her shortly aft—

Dib's phone buzzed, pulling him out of his thoughts. Wiping the stray tear from his eye, Dib sighed as he looked to his phone. Of course. Impeccable timing as always. The text had four words that in another life would have still boiled his blood. Now they were an inside joke from a time long before _this_ moment in time.

< ( SMELLY HUMAN PIG BEAST )

As he usually did when he saw or heard any of his old insults, Dib rolled his eyes.

( zim, you do know you can turn your caps off? ) >

< ( I KNOW THAT. BUT IT STANDS OUT, DOES IT NOT? BOLD AND CAPTIVATING! IT HAS AUTHORITY! )

( no, it just feels like youre yelling at people. ) >

< ( WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YELLING IS A VERY SUPERIOR WAY OF GETTING ATTENTION! MAYBE IF YOU HAD DONE THIS DURING SKOOL, ZIM-BROTHER, PEOPLE WOULD HAVE NOTICED YOU MORE. )

Dib's eyebrows raised. He still wasn't all that used to Zim refering to him as a brother, after being enemies for so long. And for that reason, he didn't have time to respond to Zim's previous text.

< ( ANYWAY, ZIM HAS DECIDED TO ASK YOU HOW YOU WERE DOING AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE ZIB-THING. I HEARD HE WAS MISSING. IS A SEARCH PARTY REQUIRED? )

( no no, hes fine. hes been home the entire time. ) >

( also im fine too by the way, thanks for asking. ) >

< ( YES, YES. GOOD TO HEAR. SO, WHAT OF THE ZIB-THING? NOT THAT ZIM IS WORRIED, BUT I SUPPOSE IT WOULD ALSO BE GOOD TO ASK. )

Dib looked back at the house for a second. He decided just to go with the highlight.

( turns out zibs big plan was to propose. ) >

< ( EH. I NEVER REALIZED THE ZIB-WORM WOULD BE THE TYPE TO SEEK OUT A LIFEMATE. BUT THE KEEF IS A GOOD MATCH FOR HIM. VERY INDESTRUCTIBLE. VERY ABSORBENT. VERY GOOD KICKER. )

Dib suddenly had the feeling Keef actually _had_ kicked someone in the shin, and it hadn't been a very random thing for him to say. But also of _course_ that little "eh?" sound Zim made was something he'd totally text people.

( what do you think? ) >

He was left waiting a long while for Zim's reply this time. He almost thought the Irken had set his "phone" aside, but just as Dib moved to put his phone back in his pocket, it buzzed.

< ( YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED, BUT THE ALMIGHTY ZIM ISN'T SURE WHAT TO THINK. IT'S GOOD FOR THE ZIB AND THE KEEF TO HAVE THIS URTH WEDDING, YES. BUT ZIM HASN'T ATTENDED ANY OF THESE URTHAN WEDDINGS BEFORE, AND I AM NOT SO SURE THE ZIB WOULD EVEN LET ME ATTEND. WE NEVER REALLY DID HAVE TIME FOR THE BONDING. PLUS, HE SEEMS TO BE CONVINCED THAT I BLEW A ZAPPER UP. RIDICULOUS. SURELY ZIM WOULD REMEMBER IF HE'D DONE SUCH A THING. )

Dib scoffed. Of course he didn't remember doing that.

< ( BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK? I'M SURE YOU HAVE THE THOUGHTS OF YOUR OWN. GIR SAYS HI BY THE WAY. THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW. )

Again, Dib peered at the house. What did he think?

In the end, he went with:

( yeah. i think its good for him, too. its going to sound like im repeating you, but they really are good for each other. zibs never really been... happy with someone like that before. i feel like hed take a bullet for keef. and you know keefs become a lot more tolerable. thats surprising, considering who hes been hanging out with. i know this is going to sound super cliche, but they really are the perfect couple. heres hoping nothing goes wrong on the big day. ) >

( also hi, gir. ) >

**Author's Note:**

> i just realized i have a wedding fic to write now. MELS-


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